I just watched the film, Alice and Wonderland, with my grandchildren. What a powerful message the children’s story presents about friendship and standing up to bullying. The queen in the film reminded me of some of the politicians and media personalities of  today.

To me the ugliness of the bully personality is at risk. Why? Because the courageous self esteem it takes to stand up to a bully will always win out. I often wonder why everyone can’t work together in a more civilized manner as role models for our children. I remember twice being bullied as a child. Though it was decades ago, I still remember the hurt and anquish it caused. 

On our TV’s and cell phones we are bombarded with the criticizing and name calling of others that depicts these despicable traits of the bullies who, to me, are all cowards. As in Alice In Wonderland, the queen doesn’t win in the end. Alice ends up with the friendships and the powerful courage needed to thwart the Queen.

I write novels about angels. And I’m happy to say, in my fantasy writing mind, there is always a bully character. But in every one of the novels, the bully learns a lesson and ultimately moves in a new direction towards kindness. The possibility of change is always present. Every one of us has the power to stop the bully in their tracks and to teach them by our actions.

Psychologists can answer why human bullies become bullies. I only know that I happily watch my own children teach their children how to act, how to care for others in a kind way. Teaching starts with the parents. Being a role model of  kindness for our kids matters and could change everything.

I will keep on writing the bully into my stories and pray with hopes and dreams in tact that one day real bullies will take a look in the mirror and find their own aha moment. Will they learn there’s strength in love and conviction? Will they learn there’s courage in standing up for oneself and in standing up for the vulnerable ones, our children?

The queen in Alice In Wonderland, ended up friendless. Actually, if she was a real person, I’d feel sorry for her. The bullies in the world are missing the sheer joy that being kind can bring. That’s why the bully never wins. The words joy and kindness are not included in the definition of a bully .