Years ago I was interviewing for a job and witnessed a sad example of bullying a student I’ll call Jenette. She was a teenager with a developmental disability in a vocational class. Jenette was shy and timid around her teacher. The teacher seemed to thrive on controlling her students with her loud voice. She yelled at all the students including  Jenette. Jenette would calm herself  by talking out loud. She’d say repeatedly, “I’m okay, it’s okay.”

I’ve never forgotten that example of bullying all these years later. Jenette had found a way to calm herself. But the next year she had a different teacher. I became her teacher and so there was no need to calm herself down for I never once yelled at any of my students. I encouraged Jenette and the others making sure learning vocational skills would be fun.Of course I knew I had angels on my shoulder.  

Oh yes we’ve all been bullied. Recently, I remembered a long ago instance I must have placed in the back corner of my mind. Writing about bullying brought it back. “Look at the baby cry.” That’s what I heard one day in Kindergarten. It’s a memory that makes me ponder now these decades later.

The schoolyards of yesterday seem to be played out by adults in our midst today. Shouldn’t we the grown ups now be the role models of respectful behavior to our children and grandchildren?  What’s happened I think is some adults have lost their way. Some are  playing into the bullies fiery words by matching with their own fire.

So way back in Kindergarten, a lesson was learned that must have brought me to this place of writing books about angels. You see the one who taunted me back then was my Kindergarten teacher. Years later I became a teacher of children with Special Needs. I tried to be a  good role model of how to treat others. If a Kindergartner bullied by her teacher can grow up strong and kind then anybody can. Although I didn’t see them, the angels were at my side.

When I first started teaching Special Education years ago, I learned  a valuable lesson about bullying. For bullying can come from anyone, child or adult. I taught students that were labeled Mentally Retarded but they weren’t retarded at all.These eleven to thirteen year old students were socio-economically deprived. The materials were scarce and I had to use my  creativity and own materials to teach them reading.

The first week I taught reading I would call on them to read. I was shocked when one boy named Michael got up and stuttered with the words. He didn’t normally stutter when he spoke. Some of the kids laughed. I realized then he had been bullied by students or perhaps even a teacher and calling on him to read made him stutter and anxious.

For the rest of my career I always asked first, “Who would like to read?” Michael taught me a very valuable lesson. I learned to respect and honor the students, being sensitive to their needs and character. It was honor to be all my students’ teacher. I was young and inexperienced but an angel must have been on my shoulder.

Fort Courage is the place I go when trying to find peace. Our children must learn to find courage so they are able to handle bullying. Teaching children to find courage is one of the most important lessons a parent and educator can do. Remember a time when you were bullied? I do. And yet those times were lessons weren’t they? I’ve heard it said that the bully is a teacher of sorts. Bullies are really teaching us  how not to be like them. Finding a place in our hearts where courage lies  fills us  with triumph. Just as the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz found the courage he so desperately sought, adults and children alike can find  their own way to courage. For courage was always there inside the Lion’s heart. The angels made sure of that.

There’s a place I go to whenever I need to. It’s not a place I can walk, drive or fly to but a place I can go to find peace in my own mind. I drove on a highway to New Mexico years ago after my daughter died. It seemed the angels had placed a sign on the way  just for me. It was near an Native American Reservation. I knew instantly the name was meant for the peace of mind I needed to pull myself to. It is such a beautiful name, Fort Courage.

That memory of the sign etched in my mind still helps me travel  the journey I am on to find peace. Over twenty years have come and gone but I know one thing for sure. All of us lose ones we love, all of us suffer pain and longing for those we must wait to see again in the great beyond.

But to find courage is a blessing. The angels have such a place in my life that I ask them all the time to give me courage and strength for the days ahead. I ask them please take me to Fort Courage. Help me find peace, the peace of knowing a beautiful reunion lies ahead..

I know a couple who went to a small high school years ago. Whoever thought of this ingenious way to have Prom in the high school probably didn’t realize they were implementing a possible solution to bullying. This is a  most wonderful idea for Prom night where  kids won’t feel left out or could be  subjected to bullying.

Students picked names to go to the Prom. Everyone has a date. Boyfriend and girlfriends have to go with whoever they picked from the hat. Those that might have felt left out or embarrassed were given respect by everyone because everyone had a date. Everyone was treated equally. The couple said to this day the high school runs the Prom this way. What a lovely thought, a way to counteract bullying. It’s a  team effort to go to Prom now and everybody wins.  And of course, remember what the angels know…the bully never wins. 

Teaching children to handle bullying was primary in my teaching career. These children are most vulnerable yet can be taught tools to help. One teacher I admired taught a very timid student a most remarkable way to counteract the bullying. The teacher taught Tammy, a teenager,  to stand up for herself when other children would tease her by saying and spelling the word, R U D E!  Then Tammy  would add with a smile, “How rude!” It was remarkable to witness this  extremely quiet and shy teenage girl  to actually find power in her comment given with humor  back to those bullies. The teacher found a way to strengthen Tammy’s self esteem and Tammy  enjoyed her newfound strength. Teaching all children to stand up for themselves makes the angels sing. 

Town of Angels, my third novel in the Mystic Bay Series is available on Amazon in paperback and ebook. It was a long time coming writing this book so timely as bullying is a worthy topic of today.
A quote I wrote for my news piece,” Kindness is a strength and mixed with courage it can take a bully’s breath away.” I have found this to be true in my own life. As I wrote this book, I realized kindness is the very essence of my life with my family, friends and work. Giving to others, being gentle and kind is our gift from God.  Town of Angels was truly inspired by dreams and daydreams and thinking about angels. 

Dream big and be kind along the way. I believe kindness is the truest expression of love.